“Write every day.”
I get it. I do. But also, no. Because what I actually heard was, “If you don’t write every day, you’re not a real writer and your stories will die alone.” And I’ve carried that anxiety like a tote bag full of overdue library books ever since.
The first time I skipped a day, I panicked. The second time, I spiraled. The third time, I reorganized my desk and pretended that was writing-adjacent. Suddenly, “write every day” didn’t feel motivational—it felt like an unspoken threat from the productivity gods.
Other contenders in the “advice that broke me a little” category:
- “Kill your darlings.”
Okay, but what if my darlings are the only part of the draft I like? What if my entire story is one long darling with no plot and a lot of mood? - “Show, don’t tell.”
But sometimes I need to tell. If I showed everything, this blog post would be 3,000 words and include a scene where I dramatically stare at my tea. Tea lover or not, I’m sure that would bore anyone to tears. - “Your first draft will be bad, and that’s okay.”
Sounds reassuring. Until you see the first draft. And realize “bad” was generous.
It’s not that the advice is wrong. It’s just… uncompromising. It doesn’t leave room for introverts who write in emotional bursts, who overthink every sentence, who get creatively paralyzed by the pressure to do it right all the time.
So here’s my updated, mildly chaotic take on the classics:
- Write when you can, and when you can’t, think about writing and count that too.
- Don’t kill your darlings—hide them in a folder and maybe bring them back later like a dramatic soap opera character.
- Show and tell. You’re a writer, not a mime.
- First drafts aren’t bad. They’re just deeply misunderstood.
If this post hit a little too close to home, you might also like I Thought About Writing Today. That Counts.
Panicked halfway through. Published anyway.
—me, rereading this with love and a little resentment
